DEAR JOHN

I just had my second movie house trip last night for this month. I went to watch Dear John with a good friend of mine after a long hour of talking, laughing and eating in Glorietta’s food court. I will try to be a film critic for a moment. This is already a warning. So to all Dear John fans, I will not ask your forgiveness. I will just quote Ma’am Steph’s comment before about ending up watching a film that we don’t like. She said “Maybe you’re not the target audience”. I’m guilty!

After going out of the movie house, I thought it was just an expensive nap. I didn’t literally take a nap while watching it but I did not get any affect from the film at all. I was trying to imagine before watching it that maybe I could relate to the story since my parents were like that after getting married. Well, during Saudi years of my father, it was not just snail mail but my mom would even send cassette tapes of our recorded voices. My brothers and I used to pretend that we were talking to our dad through those recordings. There were no facebook, skype or yahoo messengers back then.

But of course, there are maybe two scenes that I like in the movie, one was the moment with his dad inside the hospital and the hugging part in the end. Obviously, if a parent-child moment is part of a film, it’s a money shot. I mean it definitely captures the audience feelings. We all are children first and we also become parents. The hugging part gave me the realization that maybe it’s true that even though some people come and go, the world is still too small for everyone that we might just end up meeting these people again who already bid their goodbye to us. Our elders would always remind us that ‘huwag magsalita ng tapos’. I guess, they are right but it also depends on the situation too.

I was supposed to pretend that I’m a film critic but I can’t help appreciate how the film portrayed the life of people with autism. I was just bothered while watching the film because of the audience especially at my back who laughed so hard every time John’s father do something unusual. First word that struck me with their laughter is IGNORANCE. Ignorance that reflects how our society is still not well informed when it comes to understanding people with special needs. I don’t condemn or blame them it’s just that it is a sad state even alarming because many are still not educated with this particular reality that some of us have been suffering or experiencing for a long time. Well, remember the Cebu Pacific incident with special children, the crew even thought that those children have mental illness that they couldn’t board the same plane together. Imagine the humiliation that parents experienced because of some people’s ignorance and lack of understanding of their own company policies and of children with special needs. Pathetic!

I also think that we all stop using the word RETARDED when it comes to describing these people. It’s not just degrading but this word is too powerful that it could also hurt a lot of people especially those who sacrifice their lives, time, even their own happiness just to give them the normal life they deserve. When I was working with special children in London before, every end of my shift, I always ask myself, what if these special people are the ones who actually have the normal reality and we people who think that we are normal, are those living in the world we define for them….

AGING

I used to think that aging is a horrible experience. I remember a conversation about it with some friends not so long time ago. One friend shared that she’s afraid of this process because of so many reasons like wrinkles, the not so 20/20 vision and everything you can imagine that affects our corporeal existence.

Few months from now, I’m going to experience the natural process of adding one year in my present age. For the past years, months before my birthday I’ve had mixed feelings. I am either scared because I’m getting older or excited because it’s another chapter to explore. Remember, when we were young we always wanted to fast-forward the time because we dreamed of becoming adults. We were like trapped inside a child’s body and in our minds we were wandering in the world of a professional, a party animal or a married person. But now I am an adult, every time I see a toddler on the elevator or a student going to school, I always have those thoughts of ‘I wish I’m a child again or a student with all my daily allowances’. My dream before of a fast-forward time is not just happening but time is moving so quick that sometimes I feel that I can’t cope with it anymore.

I suddenly remember when I was working as an assistant in a school for special children in London, the entire class went on a one day camping trip. It was my first day. I was with three teachers and about seven teenagers with special needs. One was recovering from a traumatic experience, the other is a cancer survivor and others just need special support and attention. Everyone was so excited because of the wall climbing activity. Once the students started to climb the wall, we all showed our support by cheering at them, shouting that they could do it and expressing encouraging words to uplift their spirits. After the students, the teachers were dared to try it. But only one of them, a forty something woman took the challenge. I, myself, did not want to try it because I didn’t think that time that I was adventurous enough to try something like wall climbing. I was a loser during that day. So the teacher started to climb, everyone was in awe, shocked perhaps or even worried if she could actually do it. Surprisingly, she made it to the top.

After the trip, we all went back to school and everyone was starting to go home. It was a long walk for me.
I was walking towards the bus stop when I heard someone calling me. It was the teacher who climbed the wall. She offered me a lift. And we started a short conversation before she dropped me in the bus stop:

Mine2write: Ma’am, the students were surprised earlier that you actually took the challenge.
Teacher: I did not even realize I could actually do it.
Mine2write: But why did you try it anyway? I thought you were just joking.
Teacher: Bloody hell! (laughing) I’m forty something already and I thought, this could be my last adventure in life. So I tried. Besides love, THE OLDER WE GET, THE MORE WE BECOME AWARE OF OUR MORTALITY. Who knows, there’s no other wall climbing chance again.

I was on the bus and started to reflect what she said. She’s right. And maybe, aging is not a bad thing at all, it’s just one way of reminding us that we don’t hold our own time, it is only borrowed. So instead of lamenting about getting older, it’s better to celebrate the years that have passed and the wisdom that comes with it and also welcome the coming years knowing that we have new adventures in life to conquer.

P.S. I’m inspired to write again because of Ma’am Mac. I love reading your notes in FB ma’am.

WARNING: This is not a reminder that my birthday is approaching, it’s JUST A BLOG ENTRY. (laughing)